Archive for May, 2007

incomplete

I have a husband who has suffered a lot of loss. And because I am aware of this, and I am beginning to see how it hurts him, it stings to read such contented material from one whose memories are, in fact, complete. What must it be like to have the closest people to you, who share incredible memories and adventures and growth, leave this world with you still in it? As loving as supporters are, they cannot substitute for the missing half of a memory. And as the wife of a man whose thoughts are sometimes occupied with “half-memories,” I am helpless to fix him, to fix the problem, to fix life.

Knowing we endure adversity for a reason only the Lord could orchestrate does not make it any easier to persevere. I can see that, without the hope He provides, there are only a few small steps from living in peace and love with Him to drowning in sorrow and self-pity. I pray He gives us the strength to blast through the grief and the questions and the confusion with a solid understanding of His grace and unending mercy…

… continue reading this entry.

Bad energy

I am worn out. Wasting away. It’s been a tiring week and a tiring year, really. We can’t take much more but have no choice but to complete this phase of chaos and madness and reconciliation. Come July 7, we’ll have a whole house of chaos and madness to deal with, but at least it will be ours.

basic rules

So, I am struggling to maintain my claim that I am still, in fact, a “writer.” I journalled as a pre-teen and a teen. I took creative writing. I wrote essays using large and splendiferous thesuarus-worthy words. I was trained as a journalist…that’s a “writer,” right? Then I wrote for some newspapers. I wrote (and still sometimes write) for the magazine I edit now. And this organization keeps sending me to SFU courses: creative magazine writing, direct marketing copywriting, and the Write!Canada conference. I am even a “professional” member of the Word Guild. But since people keep asking me to edit, I have less and less creative hankering to be the one to put the words on the paper, rather than the one rearranging the words someone else put on the paper. I guess I should just stick to what I’m good at (which, I figure, is what people keep asking me to do: edit), but it feels funny to be trusted to edit other people’s work without them really knowing any of the material I used to “output” on a regular basis. Then again, it could be that my writing is actually so atrocious and nonsensical that my peers and bosses wouldn’t let me touch a blank piece of paper with a 10-foot pole. Hmmmm…..

However, other than journalling, I was never a “writer” by passion anyway. I only write when people ask me to . . . and even then, only when they offer me money to do it. You see, I am a “service provider,” a term I learned at work last year. I produce copy and ideas only when the aforementioned factors are present. I am not freelancer material as of yet (I still don’t understand how they live on such an unreliable income, especially with families . . . and no benefits!). I think it’s a trust issue. Working from home at my own pace would be ideal . . . but I don’t think I am trusting Christ enough to provide what I need. Clearly, I have control issues. I am also a realist (which is an optimistic definition of “pessimist,” really). Until I see income, I’m not counting on it.

Anyway, all that said, I am attempting to massage my writing muscles and have dug up this book I bought last year. Let’s see how many I do before I forget about it again. The author even gives basic rules for using this workbook. Why can’t everything have basic rules? Then I can decide whether I want to break them . . . or if I could even abide by them at all.

Basic Rules to Keep in Mind While You Are Writing (or to rebel against if that’s more to your liking).

Keep Writing: Don’t stop. If you hit a block, write the last word over and over until something new starts flowing from your pen. Usually it’s the word “and”. Write “and and and and and and and and” and soon you will be writing “and I am sick of writing the word and. I am also sick of … ” and you’re off and writing again!

Don’t Edit: Editing is left-brained work, and these exercises are right-brained fun. So don’t go back and cross out or change words. Keep moving forward. And don’t worry about spelling or grammar. There’s plenty of time for that later. Just make sure you can read it!

Let Yourself Go: Don’t worry about the end result. Give yourself permission to write junk. Don’t hold back. Don’t filter. Go on an adventure.

Be Specific: Use all your senses to describe things. Use your sense of smell to describe a cab, your sense of taste to describe a computer. The best way for readers to recall what you’ve written is to be specific: Not “toy”, but “plastic Batman figure missing an arm”.

Don’t Negate Your Work: Be proud of what you write. Know that the only rule is to fill the page, usually in 10 minutes … and you will have accomplished that!

Have Fun: Or maybe it’s time to get a new hobby!

… continue reading this entry.

Begin the Beguine

My grandpa says he remembers this - live.

Eleanor Powell and Fred Astaire perform a classic tap dance to “Begin the Beguine” then George Murphy joins them in the second number “I’ve Got My Eyes on You”. Both numbers are from Broadway Melody of 1940 (1940)

Dancing with the Stars has got nothing on this. {sigh} Why couldn’t I have been born in 1920???

If you were ever to pray…

…pray now.

Pray for this ministry’s staff, especially for the staff and children abducted. “I was moved to tears this morning when I learned that 40 missionaries have been abducted in
a largely Muslim country. The group includes three couples with children. The enemy is at work.”
  

Don’t complain

Stop the whining, pastor challenges

He says: “…stop complaining, criticizing or gossiping. Sarcasm is another no-no. . . . “When you complain, you do it typically to attract attention or sympathy. It’s you saying, ‘There’s something wrong with me.’ “

She says: “The tyranny of the positive attitude in America, which Rev. Bowen wants to spread to the entire world, can actually hurt some people. . . . I’m not pushing pessimism. I’m saying let people cope in the way they cope and don’t make them feel defective.”

I say: But aren’t we all defective? If we don’t feel defective, why are we in Bowen’s church, or any church, for that matter? Why are we seeking forgiveness for sin and grace from our Father? Why are we spending our lives following the Lord of Lords, who offers unending and unfathomable love and grace and peace and mercy and sovereignty and joy and victory if don’t feel deficient in those very attributes? Even if we don’t feel it, the Truth is the Truth: we need Him.

That said, I’m not sure how I feel about Bowen’s”Association of Unity Churches, which offers what it calls ‘practical Christianity’ – a way of life leading to health, prosperity, happiness and peace of mind.” Is this intended for all people? Or only its congregants? As far as I see it, this is a slippery slope. But who am I to say? I’m still learning.

Anyway, I’m not one to complain.

I love you. etc…

Our new favourite commercial.

And could this BE any funnier?

… continue reading this entry.

Manticor

Why the name? It’s one of those “you had to be there” things. You know, the same reason my alter ego is “Judy.”

… continue reading this entry.